Remembrances of my mother – the motivation behind me

Remembrances of my mother – the motivation behind me

Partha Sarathi Chatterjee

It has been almost a year that I have lost my mother during Durga Puja. Eerily, I lost both my parents during Durga Puja – hardest time to handle those adversities. When I went to India, everyone consoled me – both of them truly are in Heaven, called by the Almighty. As a son, it is still difficult for me to accept.

Mother invokes reverence, love towards a person, who has borne you for months before birth and ever since, reared you with extreme love and care, which only a mother can do.  Even now, I get rattled some times in sleep – thinking my mother is there right beside me.

My mother was unique – she never cooked for me even once but prayed for me every moment of her life. I remember going for my exams at South Point and my mother spending a long time going through various flowers, chanting mantras and praying. Then, as I sat through the exams, she would perform Pujas and pray to God the entire day. She even continued that as I took my exams here in US, which meant she was up middle of the night in India.

My mother’s whole life rotated around Ramakrishna Mission, temples and Pujas. From a very young age, my sister Pompa and I attended the Sunday school at Ramakrishna Mission.  From learning Vedas/Gita and Purana to stories about Thakur, Ma and Swamiji – she was the driving force behind us being inculcated with morality and spirituality. As my father led a very busy doctor’s life, she made sure that we grew up as good human beings, with the right set of ethics and morality. I remember her saying – “You need a fence around a small plant to keep animals away; but when the roots get strong and the plant grows into a big tree, you really do not have to worry about them.” She and my father were dedicated to providing a strong moral foundation for our lives. Years later, during my hostel life at IIT and leading a bachelor life here in US, those teachings and values proved invaluable. She shared those lessons even with her grandchildren – hopefully, Ishaan and Trisha will truly take those to heart.

My mother also believed in striving hard to achieve success. She believed in making the most of God-given abilities and pushing ourselves for more. Our ancient scriptures had said – “Arise, Awake, Wait not till the goal is reached”. She truly believed in that. From kindergarten to my post-graduate days, her expectation and bar were high – that unsaid push gave us all the impetus.  As the only grandson of my grandparents, the whole family was not in favor of travelling abroad; she believed in me availing of the scholarship granted by NASA/NSF and completing higher studies. I know years later – many have asked her as to why she sent her only son away and her answer was always the same – it was my duty to rear him and it is his duty to be the best he can. She was a big believer in Gita – “Maa Phaleshu Kadacheno” – do not do something, expecting something in return.  As Arpita and I perform the role of parents, those simple lessons serve as guiding lights.

My mother was strict – everyone in my family knew that my father was soft but my mother would very rarely budge. We accepted that. She would correct people if they were wrong; when others would simply ignore. I remember every time someone would officially write down my name as “Partha” – she would correct “Partha means Arjun, Partha Sarathi means Krishna – my son’s name is Partha Sarathi”. 

Like traditional wives, she never showed any outward emotion towards my father – but when she lost my father, she just could not accept it. I saw with my own eyes – what true love means. You do not have to say anything – but both of them felt deep love towards each other. They both believed – it is better to be righteous and honest; in life, those pillars serve all of us much better. Also, they valued education and drive to excel as two other ingredients for success. She often said – “It is true - God gives you brains. It is upto you how you apply and decide what not to do.”

As another Durga Puja looms, I will miss her for all that she had done for me and my family. I know she rests in peace in Heaven, smiling down at us.