Sports bonding through three generations – a half century saga

 

Sports bonding through three generations – a half century saga

-          Partha Sarathi Chatterjee

An intriguing saga of deep sporting bonding started in December 1972. It traversed through three generations – a half century of intense emotions, strong father-son bonding and literally, a brotherhood which defined this unique feeling. It started with my father and continued with Ishaan (Bodhi). Interestingly, my sister Pompa (Bonti as I called her), my wife Arpita and my daughter Trisha (Bonny as we call her) reveled in this craziness.

In this journey, we proved that studying can coexist with sports, nah flourish with sports. Following your passion, having a release valve helps people. What I learnt from my father growing up, passed on to my kids. That bonding crossed generations.

Baptism to sports in a train

In December 1972, my family of both the parents, my sister and myself (Babi to my parents, Dadabhai to my sister) took a train to Puri on our annual winter vacation. My father took a transistor to listen to the cricket Test series between India and England in India. I was still not introduced to the wide world of sports. What absolutely fascinated me was the sight of people crowding around that transistor, listening to the commentary, intensely. No unrelated chatter was allowed; grunts of despair and screams of utter joy permeated the compartment. I felt mesmerized that this thing called sports was holding attention of these folks like a magnet attracting iron. The ups and down, the excitement really caught the young kid’s attention. I was hooked! That was my baptism to sports, where the staccato sound of trains wheels intervened the passionate commentary. I knew that was my calling – I HAD to be a sports fan!

Sports – the elixir of life

My living breathing existence then revolved around sports – soccer (football we called it) and cricket. Mohun Bagan was my choice – Naeem, then Subrata Bhattacharjee, Prasun Banerjee, then Bidesh, Manas, Ulaga and then, Habib, Akbar, Shyam Thapa, Xavier Pius. In parallel, I played football and cricket in our para (locality) club and in our courtyard. My father was equally fanatic – would take my friends in his Morris Minor to Mohun Bagan matches and Bengal/India cricket matches.

I lived a dual existence – hung out with my boys in the hood (Entally in Central Calcutta), who had zero interest in studies, and then, had my schoolmates in South Point, which fired my academic pursuit. I lived a sports-mad life, went to Mohun Bagan practices, played football and cricket all around Central Calcutta. Balancing of sports craziness with the academic pressure of being one of the top students at South Point was tricky but added the spice and excitement. My father and I cried after losses, screamed after wins. He would always teach me about teamwork and ability to mold your talent towards a common goal. Even in defeat, he would teach about the finer aspects of life, how we could learn from sports.

The lowest point was the 5-0 loss to East Bengal in 1975 and the highest point was Mohun Bagan winning triple crown in 1977 along with Calcutta League. Three trophies – IFA Shield, Durrand Cup and Rovers Cup were ours. Pendulum sung wildly from depth of disappointment to highest of sheer ecstasy. My sports was the escape route for all the academic pressure – loved it! I did great in Madhyamik and was one of state’s top ranked students, while madly following the fate of Mohun Bagan at Federation Cup. Actually, the tournament overlapped with Madhyamik and I had to go directly from one of my oral examinations, to the semifinal match. Unthinkable!

When I was taking Higher Secondary and Join Entrance examinations for West Bengal and IIT in spring of 1983, I had major conflicts with sports all trough the six months before, starting with Asian Games in November 1982. My mother, who was the task master, banned me from watching any sports; but my father would give me a ride to games or sneak me out. He knew – my study time needed an escape, a release for all the pressure and expectation. Well, again, I did pretty well, one of the top ranks in both Higher Secondary and West Bengal Joint and qualified for Computer Science at IIT Kharagpur. While South Point classmates got 6 out of top 10 West Bengal Joint ranks, my local buddies of Entally, the fellow Mohun Bagan fanatics, barely scraped through and passed Higher Secondary. My two worlds were truly a world apart!

Coming to America

Then, I came to US; I picked up baseball, basketball and more importantly, American football. Started going to college football game, immediately after I landed. Became hooked! Loved sports here as I studied as a graduate student. No sports was off limit – by this time, everyone was impressed how a brown man knew so much about American sports.

I would explain American sports to my father or would discuss Mohun Bagan and Indian cricket. If India won, I would excitedly call him and he would wait for my call. If he went to Mohun Bagan matches, he would call me with others and share the news. Bonding continued, though we were half a world away.

Becoming a father

Come 1999. I transitioned to being a father, Ishaan was born on my birthday. What a coincidence! Actually, that was World Cup cricket. I was the very first among our close group to buy a satellite. I had paternity leave and watched the pulsating World Cup matches with Ishaan beside me. Bonding started. I would call my father and we would discuss the matches, while Ishaan would make sounds in the background. Half a world away, three generations bonded over sports!

Ishaan’s initiation

Ishaan’s formal initiation to sports happened April 1, 2003. That was the night of the World Cup match between India and Pakistan in South Africa. Ishaan was surprised that his father along with his favorite uncles – Dhruba, Jaws, Hemant, Ravi, Shailu, Santra, Dodo and others along with the Mashis were absolutely glued to the TV, interspersed with joyous shouts. He knew that was his calling – sports creates bonds! His small plastic drum became our drum. He beat that drum while watching matches; we would take and play the drums too.

In due time, Ishaan started following all the American sports; we would watch football, basketball and baseball together in stadium. Every weekend, our bonding grew stronger. Trisha, though not a huge sports fan, would often join us. By middle school, Ishaan became a legit sports fan, with knowledge not only in American sports but also, Indian sports. We exchanged obscure stats – which college did Phil Simms the Gians QB play for (Moorehead state); what about Scottie Pippen (Central Arkassas)? His knowledge in cricket was taking off too.

Thanks to a bunch of quiz guys in DC, he competed against, they were second generation Punjabis. He even started following hockey and would do something to his computer to watch India hockey team playing in international tournaments online.

Funny story – he would ask me about captain of Maharashtra cricket team, defenders of India hockey team or the third quarterback of Alabama. I would fail often answering his questions; he already knew them. He would spend time just like me following sports; googling stats. He started his own blog on sports in middle school. Like my Mohun Bagan and cricket fandom in my middle and high school days, he was a legitimate sports fan. Instead of just two sports – football and cricket, he had a whole gamut of sports. He played soccer and basketball.

Manchester United, Houston Astros, Rockets and Texans, Tom Brady and Patriots, college football teams all became part of our daily lives. That is all we lived for! He started writing a blog, which became popular in middle and high school. I would travel and still found time to catch up. That was our bonding!

High school and college years

In high school, Arpita was concerned about the time he was spending on sports, just like my mother. He would sneak and watch sports or play outside. Our favorite sports was playing basketball or cricket right there in the driveway. He was mad about cricket too! We would watch sports, Trisha would join us sometime. Both of us would go to so many games – remember I took him to bunch of Texas Aggies, Rockets, Astros, Texans games. That is how we bonded – just like my father at Mohun Bagan ground and Eden.

Fast forward to 2016, final year of high school. He was taking his ACT and SAT. Just like my mother, Arpita was worrying about his test scores. The day of his ACT, where he got a perfect score,  there was an India cricket match; Arpita was texting me – have you heard from Ishaan. Ishaan came out and texted me – “Kohli ki Padalo!” (Kohli has really smacked it!) I immediately texted back – text your mother! Such was his craze – thinking about sports all the time. Just like me! Wish I could share the stories with my dad – but he had already passed away in 2008.

College years became just like my connecting with my dad. Sports became the bond which connected us every day. A text between classes or meetings – a phone call on weekend on the way to Georgia Tech games or watching Brady in Atlanta and Houston. Highlight of sports craze was him picking out the India Kabaddi captain at the DumDum airport, totally out of the blue. How does a Desi kid in US even know about kabaddi and recognize a player? The captain himself was confused as Ishaan was talking in English with an American accent. A Bengali American even knows about Kabaddi?

Off to a new city

Now, we are on the verge of splitting again. After his stint with Investment Banking, Ishaan has moved to New York with a private equity. I asked him – would you follow the NY teams? His proud reply – Nope, wearing Astros jersey to Yankee stadium. Finished off this summer with a  spate of Astros game. Trisha and Arpita joined us.

Hope the saga which started on a cold day in the train to Puri in 1972 continues. It has continued for fifty years, over three generations!